If only Mimi were here to tell me I'm fat every time I eat!

Does anyone have any tips on losing weight if you have absolutely no willpower?

Here are some things that do NOT work:

• picturing how fat I will look naked/in bathing suit if I continue eating like this.
• picturing how awesome I will look if I go back to my weight about a year ago and then lose a few more pounds.
• telling myself that Tigger will be disgusted when I become obese.
• telling myself I will get diabetes and heart disease.
• telling myself I cannot afford new clothes so I have to fit in my current ones.

Maybe I need to try harder at these things? I'm going to start geocaching with Tigger, but I think I would need to work out for about 2 hours a day to get rid of the flub (what a fun word) I am packing on, and that is not going to happen. So I need to curb the eating as well. I'm going to start by making a menu of meals I can rotate, because whenever I am hungry I lose the ability to plan ahead. Then I can buy less at the store. But I love baking!!! :(
Also, I did something crazy and bought a leash for Jazz the other day. (Is 5 feet an appropriate length for cats?) I think she misses the outdoors. When I unload things from the car and leave the front door open, she comes and looks out the storm door curiously, like she wants to explore. I have decided to try taking her out in the backyard (on a leash so she can't escape; she is fast and she has run away before). We will just go when Beer is not out there. I hope she will like feeling the grass and hearing the birds and wandering around, but I am worried that she will be too bothered by the leash to enjoy these things. We did try leash training her about 11 years ago with no success. Well, you can expect an update when I buy her a collar with a leash attachment, as I don't think her current collar has one.
That is all... I have had emotional ups and downs lately. I find it easy to enjoy the little things in life, but impossible to let go of the fact that I am not happy where my life is currently headed and that I have no idea how to make it go in a better direction.
P.S. Tips on getting a cat to lose weight are also appreciated. Unfortunately, Jazz and I share a plumpness of the belly region. I currently feed her slightly less than the vet recommends and force her to play as often as she will let me, but she won't do anything active like chase a toy, she will just lay on her back and bat at it. Help!