Erotica, or "The Book"

My company holds a potluck each year for the holiday season, during which a White Elephant gift exchange is held. A rotating gift has been part of the exchange for about 15 years- a gift that a few people secretly want, most people dread being stuck with, and everyone laughs at:

EROTIC ART OF THE MASTERS

The 18th, 19th & 20th Centuries

by Bradley Smith

It is called "The Erotica Book" or, simply, "The Book."

Last year, I got The Book. (It was somewhat scandalous, as I actually "stole" it from someone else during the White Elephant game. I was curious, okay?)

The week I brought it home, I looked at each and every one of its 196 nudity-filled pages. The text is hilariously amazing.  I am sad that I did not share The Book with enough people in the year I had it.

This year, I had to give it back.

As usual, everyone made comments during the exchange like "Beware the large packages!" "That one looks like it could be The Book!"  I tried not to laugh too loudly, as I had tricked them all.  My gift was the tiniest one.  The Book remained hidden in my office.

Amazingly, it was chosen second to last.  I thought it would go faster because people tend to regard the small gifts as "safe", as they would never fit The Book inside.

My gift was chosen by K (whose office is across from mine).  She kept choosing really good gifts and had about 3 of them stolen from her before she sealed her fate by picking my unassuming package (hehe... package).  Her husband, who also works here, got a bottle of wine in the exchange. Everyone joked that they would have quite the fun weekend.

Farewell, erotica book! May your new owner display you proudly on a shelf, and not drive around for months with you in the trunk in the box of heavy books that they were too lazy to carry to their apartment. Not that I would do that to you.