Welcome to Corporate America

I finally got a full-time job! :) I am an HR assistant in the mornings and a receptionist in the afternoons. I work in an office of 34 people at the corporate headquarters of a fairly small national company. After months of hard work, I can finally actually recognize everyone in my office (as Megan knows, this took time and many embarrassing moments).

Everyone who has an office job knows the many varieties of awkward scenario they could be thrown into at any moment during the work day. (Either that, or they all took Small Talk 101 and Fake Laugh Senior Seminar, which I missed; I will soon be urging Bryn Mawr College to make these mandatory for every graduating senior.) This has become a frequent topic of conversation for me and my friends who also recently graduated and are entering the "real world," which, as it turns out, is even more repetitive and hopeless than I could possibly have imagined. Hours pass like minutes, the days blend together and before you know it, you die a 95-year-old virgin, having forgotten to take any of your vacation days or retire. Thankfully those uncomfortable encounters throughout the day provide a chance to stop and savor the moment. Here are some fun things that happened to me today:

8:30 am: I arrive at work and am putting my perishables, including a Nalgene filled with milk, in the fridge. "George" is making coffee.
George: "What's in there?"
me: "Milk."
George: "What? It's not alcohol?"
me: "Nah, I'm adding the alcohol at lunch." [super proud of myself for thinking to say this]
George: "Wow, you can make it all the way to lunch? I'm starting to get the shakes already!"
me: "ha..."
George: "Hey, you're not a coffee drinker, are you? Someone brought these flavored syrups in... I was checking to see if they had any alcohol. Nope."

11:30 am: The phone rings.
me: "Good morning, Company Name"
male voice: "Hey, is this Star?"
me: "Uhhh... this is Skye..."
male voice: "Oh, sorry, that was bad. This is *coworker.* How many other people have done that to you? Haha!"
me: "Haha... yeah... a lot" [not really... I do get some Earth jokes... but never on the phone!]

1:30 pm: The other receptionist and I are sent to introduce ourselves to employees from our other offices who are here for a meeting.
moderator of meeting: "Everyone else had to do this, so why don't you tell us something about yourselves: when you were little, what did you tell people you wanted to be when you grew up?"
Other receptionist: "Uhhhhh...... a mom?"
me: "I told people I wanted to be a teacher, but I didn't really know. Kind of like now." [YES, I ACTUALLY SAID THAT TO PEOPLE I WORK WITH!!!]

2:15 pm: George stops in front of the front desk while trying to open a package.
me: "Do you need something? Scissors?"
Mav: "I need a full frontal lobotomy. Or a full bottle in front of me, I haven't figured out which."

I hear ya, George. I hear ya.