There's a run in my panties

Yesterday as I sat on the toilet at work I noticed that there was a run in my panties. Not a hole, but an actual run, because I bought this fancy guaranteed-no-lines-showing pair made of pantyhose-like material. The weird thing is, this excited me. What better way, I thought, to introduce myself to the blogging world? First of all, many of my stories turn out to be pointless, as my listeners often point out (they also tend to be long and rambly, which I'm sure, whoever you are, you will come to find either endearing or infuriating). But please don't comment on one of my stories with "...and then I found five dollars." I hate this phrase. My stories, while long, are all way more interesting than finding five dollars! Second of all, I often talk about things that make other people uncomfortable, such as bodily functions. Oh yes, dear reader, you are in for a treat.

On that note, I'm actually not really sure who I'm writing to, as I'm pretty sure my only loyal reader will be the best friend who forced me into starting this thing in the first place (more about her in a later post). Apparently, shedding my lowly livejournal and beginning to post on this makes me more of a grownup, so I'm joining the ranks of the true blogger and posting my pointless, inappropriate stories where they are fully google-able. Look, I'm even using capital letters and full punctuation!

My life is not always interesting (did you gather that from the first paragraph??), so I will be filling this corner of the internet not only with true anecdotes and the conversations I imagine in my head (I've been assured that others do this, but they could be saying that to humor me), but also with the way more exciting stuff of dreams- my dirty, creepy, politically incorrect, hilarious, nonsensical dreams. I have tons of them, so hopefully I'll entertain you. Plus now I can finally have that log of dreams I've always wanted.

Stay tuned to get acquainted with the lovely characters I will be writing about, including those with blogs more amusing than mine.

As my dad would say, ta ta for now. Don't worry, I'll be back very soon. And panties will definitely be back too.